“It hovered ominously through all three debates,” says one voter. “That’s more consistency than we’ve had in years.” By Eldin Crasswell, Staff Reporter, Weather-Permitting DRIZZLEFORD— After a record-low turnout and a thunderously dramatic campaign season, the village of Drizzleford has officially named Nimbus IX, a roving sentient stormcloud, as its […]
Category: The Civic Report
Forest Nymph Files Harassment Suit Against Local Bard
“You cannot seduce everything with a lute,” she says. “Sometimes we’re just trees.” By Claribelle Spindlehook, Investigative Reporter (and Certified Dryad Liaison) THE SYLVAN COURT – In what legal experts are already calling “a landmark case for sentient flora,” a forest nymph has filed formal charges of enchanted harassment, unwanted […]
Wormhole Opens Over Village, Spilling Time-Displaced Tourists
Confused ancient elves ask if tavern accepts mithril coins and interpretive poetry. By Able Quink, Senior Chrono-Disruption Correspondent BINDLEBURROW — Residents of this sleepy hamlet were enjoying a pleasantly mundane festival of cheese folding when a swirling, violet-silver vortex appeared in the sky and promptly dumped seventeen time-displaced elves, three […]
Mayor of Greenspire Resigns After Town Hall Turns Into Literal Mimic
“I just wanted to upgrade the acoustics,” he says, digesting his resignation speech. By Thistle Grumplequill, Senior Correspondent for Civic Mishaps GREENSPIRE — In a shocking turn of events—followed immediately by several literal turns, gnashing teeth, and a regrettable belch—the Mayor of Greenspire officially resigned today after the town hall […]