“It predicted the mayor’s shoe loss, and frankly? That was unsettlingly accurate.”
By Quince Elbramble, Special Correspondent & Amateur Fontomancer
EMBERCHURCH CROSSING — The township council has voted unanimously to recognize the Dust & Dawn Daily, a peculiar periodical of magical provenance, as both a “conscious civic asset” and “licensed narrative authority.”
This ruling follows a recent incident in which the paper’s front page rearranged itself mid-sentence to correctly predict:
- A goat stampede
- A scandal involving the Town Scribe’s secret pen name (“Lady Quillquiver”)
- And an “incoming scone-related duel” that did, in fact, occur
The council initially suspected enchantment, trickery, or a sentient quill uprising. After exhaustive investigation (including scrying, sniffing, and a suspiciously enthusiastic reading group), it was concluded:
“The newspaper is alive. Possibly aware. And extremely well-written.”
📜 WHAT IS THE DUST & DAWN DAILY?
The Daily is no ordinary gazette.
Published by unknown hands (though most agree they belong to “someone with very fancy gloves”), each issue is an arcane digest of:
- Scandalous dispatches from the floating city of Murn
- Rural goat drama and bardic misconduct
- New magical words you didn’t know existed but now fear greatly
- And speculative reports about time-lost baronies, divine copyright law, and breakfast-based political factions
A collection of the Daily’s transmissions—alongside its pocket-familiar “Mr. Faust”—is now available to the public via enchanted conduit at:
👉 The Dust & Dawn Daily
(Please note: viewing this portal may result in mild curiosity, academic swooning, and unprovoked bardic rhyming.)
🔮 THE COUNCIL’S STATEMENT
“While we cannot definitively prove the Dust & Dawn Daily possesses consciousness,” said Councilor Binth, “it did correct my draft budget before I submitted it and called me ‘Baldric’ in a tone only my grandmother used. So yes. It’s real. And we fear it—respectfully.”
The council has since issued official permissions for:
- Autonomous publication rights
- One honorary scarf
- And a small carved lectern in the town square labeled “For Daily Readings and Mild Prophecy”
💬 LOCAL OPINION
Reaction has been largely positive.
- “I trust it more than I trust my actual diary,” said resident Ooma Vell.
- “The crossword taught me four new curse words,” added tavern bard Crisp.
- “It’s weird,” said a guard who requested anonymity, “but it’s better than those pamphlets from the Church of Glowing Spores.”
🦊 GUEST COMMENT FROM MR. FAUST
The newsletter’s correspondent and fox-of-some-standing, Mr. Faust, responded via telegram:
“We at the Dust & Dawn Daily are honored to be recognized in such a fashion—though I must clarify, the paper is not technically sentient.
It merely operates under a mild narrative compulsion, a flicker of cosmic gossip, and one particularly nosy candle spirit.
We accept this designation with grace and a raised brow, and we shall continue to provide timely, accurate, and occasionally scandalous coverage of the realms.
Kindly direct official correspondence to the foxhole behind the fifth bookshelf. Enclose a biscuit. Or two.”
— Mr. Faust, Field Archivist and Tea-Based Lifeform
🕰 ONGOING SUBSCRIPTIONS AND SUSPICIONS
While the ruling has opened new bureaucratic questions (including “Can a newsletter vote?” and “What’s the tax status of clairvoyant publications?”), one thing remains clear:
The Dust & Dawn Daily is now officially required reading.
Whether you’re a mayor in distress, a wizard in search of gossip, or a humble mushroom with literary ambitions, you are cordially invited to:
🧾 Subscribe. Read deeply. Pack salt.
