Village Elects Sentient Stormcloud as Interim Mayor
“It hovered ominously through all three debates,” says one voter. “That’s more consistency than we’ve had in years.” By Eldin Crasswell, Staff Reporter, Weather-Permitting DRIZZLEFORD— After a record-low turnout and a thunderously dramatic campaign season, the village of Drizzleford has officially named Nimbus IX, a roving sentient stormcloud, as its interim mayor. The vote was held after the previous mayor, a retired hedge mage named Clavon Withersnort, vanished mysteriously during a budget meeting while arguing…
Forest Nymph Files Harassment Suit Against Local Bard
“You cannot seduce everything with a lute,” she says. “Sometimes we’re just trees.” By Claribelle Spindlehook, Investigative Reporter (and Certified Dryad Liaison) THE SYLVAN COURT – In what legal experts are already calling “a landmark case for sentient flora,” a forest nymph has filed formal charges of enchanted harassment, unwanted wooing, and aggressive serenading against a traveling bard known only by his stage name: Strumbold the Suggestive. The case—Nerilei v. Strumbold—was formally opened at dawn…
Wormhole Opens Over Village, Spilling Time-Displaced Tourists
Confused ancient elves ask if tavern accepts mithril coins and interpretive poetry. By Able Quink, Senior Chrono-Disruption Correspondent BINDLEBURROW — Residents of this sleepy hamlet were enjoying a pleasantly mundane festival of cheese folding when a swirling, violet-silver vortex appeared in the sky and promptly dumped seventeen time-displaced elves, three woolly cattle, and one large obsidian sundial onto the village green. Witnesses describe the event as “loud, glowy, and full of screaming in rhymed couplets.”…
Mayor of Greenspire Resigns After Town Hall Turns Into Literal Mimic
“I just wanted to upgrade the acoustics,” he says, digesting his resignation speech. By Thistle Grumplequill, Senior Correspondent for Civic Mishaps GREENSPIRE — In a shocking turn of events—followed immediately by several literal turns, gnashing teeth, and a regrettable belch—the Mayor of Greenspire officially resigned today after the town hall was revealed to be, in fact, a colossal mimic. The revelation came during the mid-week Council of Lanterns, when the south wing unexpectedly grew a…