“It hovered ominously through all three debates,” says one voter. “That’s more consistency than we’ve had in years.”
By Eldin Crasswell, Staff Reporter, Weather-Permitting
DRIZZLEFORD— After a record-low turnout and a thunderously dramatic campaign season, the village of Drizzleford has officially named Nimbus IX, a roving sentient stormcloud, as its interim mayor.
The vote was held after the previous mayor, a retired hedge mage named Clavon Withersnort, vanished mysteriously during a budget meeting while arguing over pothole repair costs. Only his boots remained, still filled, smoking gently.
🌩 “IT’S A LEADER WITH ATMOSPHERE,” SAYS SUPPORTERS
The decision to install an electrically volatile, emotionally unpredictable atmospheric entity into a civil leadership role has divided residents.
“It’s a bold choice,” said shopkeeper Marribel Flinth. “But it hasn’t raised taxes, hasn’t made any backroom deals, and everyone listens when it rumbles. Unlike Withersnort, it doesn’t smell like old soup.”
Nimbus IX, who communicates via thunderclaps and flashes of interpretive lightning, reportedly “stood” silently through all candidate debates, occasionally releasing a single crack of thunder when particularly offended.
“Its platform is unclear,” said Councilor Rigg. “But it literally hovered over every promise.”
⚡ PROS AND CONS OF METEOROLOGICAL LEADERSHIP
✅ Pros:
- Weather forecasts now 100% accurate
- Reduced local crime due to “ominous presence”
- Unwanted traveling bards have been repeatedly struck (allegedly accidentally)
❌ Cons:
- Council meetings regularly delayed due to fog conditions
- Mayoral addresses unintelligible to anyone without storm-scrying proficiency
- One incident involving a wedding and a sudden hail of frogs
“We did ask for transparency,” said resident Pip Trowel, “but I think we meant with the budget, not the air.”
🧾 CURRENT INITIATIVES
Nimbus IX has introduced three new civic policies:
- All public announcements must be waterproofed.
- Children taught basic lightning etiquette in school.
- New tax on sunbeams imported from neighboring regions.
Efforts to expand windmill funding have also been proposed—though many question if this is just “self-dealing.”
🕯 OPPOSITION ORGANIZES
A splinter faction, Citizens for Ground-Based Governance (C3G), has emerged. They argue that “sentient precipitation is not a substitute for policy.”
Their demands include:
- Term limits for airborne officials
- Lightning strike quotas
- The return of traditional mayoral handshakes (currently impossible)
The faction’s headquarters, a wooden shed, was mysteriously smoldered last Tuesday. Nimbus has declined to comment, releasing only a rumble that scholars interpret as “coincidence.”
🌤 WHAT’S NEXT?
While the legality of Nimbus IX’s office remains cloudy, arcane auditors are now reviewing the constitutional definition of “resident.” One clause may need revision after discovering it includes “beings of organized temperament and visible form.”
For now, Drizzleford’s skies remain gray, its civic spirit slightly damp, and its mayoral podium now equipped with a grounding rod.
“It may not be a conventional choice,” says local bard Finn Fairweather, “but when the storm speaks, we listen.”
Then we run.
