“Children learn more under moonlight,” she says. “Also fewer interruptions from the sun.”
By Quillan Merc, Moon-Adjusted Correspondent
GULLSTITCH— In an unexpected but constitutionally valid election upset, Egratha Moondust, the village’s longtime potion-seller and part-time bog whisperer, has won a seat on the Gullstitch Unified School Board by a margin of three votes and one suspiciously prophetic toad.
Her first act?
Declaring that every full moon shall henceforth be a district-wide holiday for “ritual studies, creative expression, and werewolf preparedness.”
🧹 EGRATHA’S PLATFORM: “EDUCATION SHOULD SPARKLE”
Running under the slogan “Let the Children Burn Brighter (But Not Literally)”, Egratha campaigned on a platform of:
- Reduced cauldron-to-student ratios
- Inclusion of potion theory in core curricula
- And replacing standardized testing with “oracle-reviewed performance glyphs”
Voters were particularly swayed by her promise to “ban all homework unless it grows legs and walks itself back to class.”
📚 RESPONSE FROM THE FACULTY
The teaching staff has responded with a mixture of bewildered optimism and low-grade fear.
“She seems kind,” said Headmaster Brym Lettle. “But she brought a cloud of whispers to the last meeting. It told me I’ve been underachieving since 1997.”
Ms. Thindle, the 3rd-year transmutation teacher, expressed concern over the proposed “Floating Lesson Platforms,” which may or may not require levitation licenses.
Still, several teachers praised Egratha’s support for:
- Extended recess under starlight,
- Tuition discounts for bat familiars,
- And the installation of a scrying mirror in every hallway (“For ‘reflection and foresight,’” she explained).
🌕 WHY A FULL MOON HOLIDAY?
“Full moons are thresholds,” Egratha told this reporter. “Moments when the world is both more itself and more mysterious. Children deserve to learn within that strangeness.”
Pressed for further comment, she added:
“Also the library grows teeth during the waning gibbous and I’d rather avoid that paperwork.”
🗳 CONTROVERSY AND SUPPORT
Critics have raised concerns about:
- The educational value of “night-soaked mushroom journaling”
- The ethics of letting a cat (Egratha’s familiar, Buttons of Dread) count absentee ballots
- And whether school board robes should be fire-resistant or fire-encouraging
However, public support remains strong—especially among students, who have embraced the full moon holiday as an opportunity for:
- Extra sleep
- Forest field trips
- And ritual-free pizza nights
🎓 WHAT’S NEXT?
Egratha has proposed several additional initiatives, including:
- Moonbeam Geometry
- Compost Necromancy (Grade 5+)
- And a community garden that “grows children’s dreams, carrots, and occasional bees”
A vote on her curriculum changes is expected next solstice, pending the approval of the village’s School Rune Inspector and at least two owls.
“Education,” she said, “is just magic with more paperwork.”
